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"Being pleasing to the eye to everyone around them, as though it was some kind of intentional display of a lack of respect that they somehow owed to a crowd of strangers", is a culturally-embedded value in many places in the world. It has to do with aesthetic contribution to the community.

Walking down a Parisian street with a local friend, I noticed someone had planted window box of gorgeous flowers outside their apartment, but it would be visible •only• to passers-by. I commented on this, and she said, "We consider it a civic duty to enhance the environment for others." My friend feels the same way about her public appearance. Before running to the corner grocery for a forgotten ingredient, she will slip into good leather shoes and tidy her hair, apply lipstick. Casual wear is fine, but looking like you were interrupted while washing windows is not. I saw the same thing in Japan.

Attire worn in public relates to this social norm, and attitudes range on a continuum from "Who cares?" to a recherché, costumey presentation in which visual impact trumps even safety. (Flying in 4-inch heels!)

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This is an excellent point, and the continuum is what’s key here. It’s possible that I’m so irritated by my past behavior of disallowing other people grace because I didn’t give it to myself that I’m now in denial of the impact that dress has on that contribution to community. I certainly agree with the civic duty comment about the flower boxes, and I still tidy myself up for the simplest of errands.

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This is such a great conversation. How I dress when I travel depends so much on the nature of the flight. Am I leaving home before 4 am? Am I travelling with my (young) children? Am I travelling for business? I always try to look put together and tidy, but what that means shifts.

Travelling with my kids means clean jeans, a fitted sweatshirt, basic makeup, and my hair up. Travelling for work means slacks, nice leather shoes (flat), a blouse, lipstick, etc. Both are tidy and thought out, but serve very different functions.

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